oh Mandy...

'I worry that the only person I look up to these days is Mandy from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy'
'why does that worry you?'
'because she's a 10 year old child'
'so why do you want to be like her?'
'because she's mean and nasty and has a smart-ass answer to everything'
'is that what you want to be?'
'pretty much'
'oh ok. So what shall we have for dinner?'
'I'm thinking world domination...with a side of rice..'

conversations with traffic wardens

me: is it ok if I leave my car there for 5 minutes?
traffic warden: ugh
me: I'm sorry?
traffic warden: ugh
me: so is that ok or not?
traffic warden: ugh
me: could you just use more words, I don't mind if it's yes or no, just more words would help ...or some words at least....
traffic warden: ugh
me: ok I guess I'll move it then..
traffic warden: ugh

Paramore- Crush Crush Crush

more break-ups

Gabe: It's not so much that I find dealing with you too much hassle, or a nightmare, more that I think you'd be bettter off with someone who can empathise, as opposed merely to sympathise - or indeed, having your own space to deal with your issues in your own way
Me: oh just rip out my heart and stomp all over it why don't you! Oh you weren't talking to me? oh that's ok then. But that's a bit brutal isn't it - poor HW! Don't you think you could find it in your heart, or whatever it is you use to pump blood around your body, to at least find out what her 'issues' are before you reject her because of them. They might be simple and easily fixed. You've got money - that fixes everything doesn't it?
Gabe: how strange - I genuinely thought my message would strike you as a nice way of dealing with HW
Me: yeah I'm sure what she really wants is more 'space' to deal with her 'issues'........

breaking up IS hard to do........

'I have a holiday of 2 weeks coming up in a months time - do you want to spend it together?'
'did I miss a meeting? I thought we broke up last night'
'I feel lost without your smile. I miss you Julie'
'I miss you too to be honest I cried loads after we said goodbye but that doesn't mean we should be together. And I don't really want to be so wet'
'I tell you now, life is what you make it. I'm willing to adapt and if you feel the same we will rock. I don't think I will ever find another girl like you. Just give me a chance'
'I will think about it but you're wrong though I'm not that great believe me'
'You think you're not great but in my eyes you're an angel'
'Oh dear I'm REALLY not you know.....'

it's hard to say you love someone...and it's hard to say you don't...

'Julie one minute you say I should stop contacting you the next you are calling me sweetie, honestly you confuse me! I am growing increasingly scared of attaching myself to you'
'Oh I'm really sorry Robert. I never said stop contacting me anyway - I said I didn't think we should see each other again as it would probably be a bad idea. Trouble is nothing dies harder than a bad idea! I'm very fond of you regardless and I want to know that you're ok that's all'
'Oh poor girl, I feel guilty and bad now - arggh I hate myself when it comes to women but I think it would be better to end it if you don't want to take it further'
'oh don't feel guilty - I'm the one who should feel bad! You didn't do anything wrong and you've been nothing but nice to me. I appreciate that a lot you know. You make me laugh as well with your crazy stream of consciousness. I'd like us to be friends but I know men don't really see the point of having women friends so I totally understand if you'd rather have a clean break and move on'
'I am very bad with making friendships with women, I always only have one at a time
'that's fine, that's a good thing actually!'
'and its a bad thing for a man to have more than one woman because he could go mental having two pussycats in one bowl'
'exactly - you're right of course. Listen you take care - it's fine'
'I really do like you Julie but I've got to let go'
'I really do like you too but I've got too much baggage as they say - so I'll let you go'
'ok'
'I'm sorry Robert'
'dont be it's ok'
'I'm gonna miss you though.........'

Dawna Markova

I will not die an unlived life.
I will not live in fear of falling or catching fire.
I choose to inhabit my days,
to allow my living to open me,
to make me less afraid,
more accessible,
to loosen my heart until it becomes a wing,
a torch,
a promise.
I choose to risk my significance;
to live so that which came to me as seed goes to the next as blossom
and that which came to me as blossom, goes on as fruit.

Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor) - Robert Palmer

doctor doctor give me the news... I've got a bad case of loving you

doc: how would u describe the pain? I mean is it burning, aching, stabbing pain or sharp?
me: all of the above
doc: I reckon you've probably got a muscle strain it'll take some time to heal...but in the meantime don't aggravate it
me: yes I think I did aggravate it by exercising more
doc: this isn't recurrent is it?
me: no I've never had problems with my back before - apart from one time I fell down and fractured my sacrum
doc: eeks! also I would advise calcium of course...it's possible that whether conscious or not, cos of your once- fractured sacrum you might inadvertently be putting more pressure on your muscles to take away some weight bearing responsibilies off your joint
me: oh do you think so? that's an interesting thought. Is 'eeks' a medical term by the way?! How long should it take to heal?
doc: 6 weeks is the average time for a muscle sprain to recover...it does vary.
me: oh no that's ages!
doc: a muscle strain can be serious if not taken seriously...sorry if i sound too serious here. Did I just use the word serious 3 times in a sentence?!

conversations with Zach age 7

'mum you look so beautiful tonight you should wear that dress and go out dancing sometime....'
'thank you baby'