Sunday, 30 March 2008

Bad Case Of Loving You (Doctor, Doctor) - Robert Palmer

doctor doctor give me the news... I've got a bad case of loving you

doc: how would u describe the pain? I mean is it burning, aching, stabbing pain or sharp?
me: all of the above
doc: I reckon you've probably got a muscle strain it'll take some time to heal...but in the meantime don't aggravate it
me: yes I think I did aggravate it by exercising more
doc: this isn't recurrent is it?
me: no I've never had problems with my back before - apart from one time I fell down and fractured my sacrum
doc: eeks! also I would advise calcium of's possible that whether conscious or not, cos of your once- fractured sacrum you might inadvertently be putting more pressure on your muscles to take away some weight bearing responsibilies off your joint
me: oh do you think so? that's an interesting thought. Is 'eeks' a medical term by the way?! How long should it take to heal?
doc: 6 weeks is the average time for a muscle sprain to does vary.
me: oh no that's ages!
doc: a muscle strain can be serious if not taken seriously...sorry if i sound too serious here. Did I just use the word serious 3 times in a sentence?!

Saturday, 29 March 2008

conversations with Zach age 7

'mum you look so beautiful tonight you should wear that dress and go out dancing sometime....'
'thank you baby'

Friday, 28 March 2008

Friday, 21 March 2008

more C and H

Calvin:I think life should be more like tv. I think all of life's problems ought to be solved in 30 minutes with simple homilies, don't you? I think weight and oral hygiene ought to be our biggest concerns. I think we should all have powerful, high-paying jobs, and everyone should drive fancy sports cars. All our desires should be instantly gratified. Women should always wear tight clothes, and men should carry powerful handguns. Life overall should be more glamorous, thrill-packed, and filled with applause, don't you think?
Hobbes:So basically, this maverick is urging everyone to express his individuality through conformity in brand-name selection.
Calvin:In my opinion, television validates existence.

Thursday, 20 March 2008

Romeo and Juliet - The Killers

Juliet the dice were loaded from the start
And I bet and you exploded in my heart

Monday, 17 March 2008

more dating tales from the Raj.....

'so how's it going getting over Raj after he let you down for the 3rd time in a row?'
'well it was playing on my mind so much that he treated me so badly and yet for some pathetic reason I still liked him that I decided to make a list of good things about him and compared it to a list of bad things about him'
'ok sounds like a good idea - how did it work out?'
'well I came up with a list of 40 things I didn't like about him and only 3 I did!'
'oh dear well that should tell you something! Out of interest what were the 3 goods things?'
'he has a good body, he brings his own condoms and he smells nice'
'that's not much to base a relationship on!'
'it's barely enough to base a date on let's face it!'
'what was the worst of the 'bad things' about him?'
'that he spent more time and energy trying to persuade me to have a threesome with him and his ex-girlfriend than he ever did on doing anything nice for me'
'Ouch indeed! You have my permission to shoot me if I ever speak to him again. In fact I insist on it!'

Friday, 14 March 2008

more tales from the internet......

'So what happened to that guy you were chatting with from the internet?'
'Oh you mean Ven? Well he'd been texting me about 50 times a day and then I was supposed to meet him Saturday but I chickened out last minute and decided to put it off for a week and I met a guy from London instead. Anyhow Ven then calls me Monday to say that his work permit application was refused and since his visa had expired he had been given 2 days to leave the country!'
'Oh my god - mind you with your luck with men it's a wonder you hadn't met him, fallen head over heels in love with him and then found out he was being deported the next day!'
'Yes had to say that thought had crossed my mind also! He called me from Heathrow about an hour ago to say goodbye. I somehow resisted the desire to sing 'Ven will I see you again...' to him!!'
'Oh you're such a cow!'

the day the earth moved....

'did you feel the earthquake last night?'
'I sure did - it was well scary. Mind you I'd just had a text through from the ex which said "you're pure evil" and 2 seconds later the whole house starts shaking and I'm not thinking 'earthquake' I'm thinking 'exorcist'!'
'Ha that's funny - mind you I was asleep at the time and I woke up when the bed started shaking like crazy. I wasn't with it so I thought it was the aftershock of my new vibrator that I'd bought that day that had caused the 5.2 on the Richter scale!'

Tuesday, 11 March 2008

Where is the love.....?

people killing, people dying, children hurt and you hear them crying...can you practise what you preach... could you turn the other cheek...

Wednesday, 5 March 2008

The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy

Mandy: [trying to be nice] Billy, we've known each other now for what seems like a nightmarish eternity. And though I insult you and lie to you daily, steal your stuff, make fun of you, your family, and anyone who looks like you, I still don't feel like I... [she lets out a frustrated grunt] ...know you. Why don't you tell me more about yourself?
Billy: If I told you, you wouldn't understand. I'm a very complex and multi-layered person.
But if you really want to know more about me, it's all here in my new autobiography. Hot off the presses! Complete and unabridged.
Billy: Hey, Irwin, you gots any gum?
Irwin: [looking into his backpack] Well, I have a plum, a drum, even a tiny chum no bigger than my thumb... but no gum, no.
Mandy: [holding a knife and fork] If you really are what you eat, I should become you by morning.

Sunday, 2 March 2008

conversations with Margie.....

'that "6 word memoir" thing was an interesting idea'

'yes but harder than you'd think to decide what to write - I was originally going to go for 'woman's dignity for sale: reasonable price' or possibly 'searching for map of human heart' What would yours be?'

'not sure yet but I asked my dad and he said his would be 'It doesn't get better than this'

'ooohhh your dad's great. I asked Nic what his would be and he said 'crap,crap,crap,crap,and crap''. Kind of opposite ends of the speculum there! Gabe said his would be 'O,S.U.A.B.O.' which is our msn shorthand for 'Oh shut up and bend over!' or alternatively 'leave me alone I'm watching rugby'

'Do you think that maybe he was just watching rugby....?'

6 Word Memoir

Seeking enlightenment in 'Lost and Found'

Tagged by

Borrowing, with permission from bookbabie, the following fabulous idea:What would you say if you had to summarize your life in only six words? Bookbabie got the idea from a book written by Larry Smith and Rachel Fershleiser, Not Quite What I was Expecting: Six Word Memoirs by Famous and Obscure. It is a compilation based on the story that Hemingway once bet ten dollars that he could sum up his life in six words. His words were- For Sale: baby shoes, never worn.
Here are the rules:
1. Write your own six word memoir
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post and to this original post if possible so we can track it as it travels across the blogosphere
4. Tag five more blogs with links
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!
So- tagging