Monday, 28 January 2008

conversation with a hypnotherapissed.....

‘Come in dear and sit down’
I follow an odd-looking woman wearing an ill-fitting white tracksuit into a back room and sit down on a rickety chair. The house smells unpleasant but I’m not sure what of. An old golden Labrador has joined us and sits down next to me leaning against my leg. I don’t say anything as I’m not sure if this is part of the treatment
‘Now dear what do you need my help with?’
‘Well my partner of 13 years has just left me and our 1 year son. He’s now in love with the woman we employed to job share with me’
‘What an absolute bastard!’
‘Well yes – I just don’t seem to be coping very well…….’
‘Oh well you’re better off without him. Now just relax and listen to my voice………
There followed about 20 minutes of her droning on whilst I pretended to relax until she told me to ‘wake up’
‘Now dear do you feel better?’
‘Yes much better thank you (by which I of course meant ‘no not at all’ still I was anxious to get out as the smell was making me slightly nauseous and my leg had gone to sleep – oh maybe the dog was part of the treatment after all….)
‘That will be £30.00 please’
‘Oh ok’
She then started to write something on a small piece of paper. I assumed it was a receipt
‘Now dear take this note and I want you to say the words on it out loud 50 times a day’
The note said ‘I am a worthwhile person’ I wasn’t sure if she meant me or her but I didn’t like to ask. I walked out the door and promptly lost the piece of paper so not only was I £30.00 lighter but any reassurance that I may indeed be a worthwhile person had mysteriously disappeared……….

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