Most of the time...

wish you were here...

I wish I could open up my heart like it’s a book
and point to the page and say ‘look... there...
that’s the bit, the bit you didn’t really ever read…’
If you’d read that part you’d maybe understand
why this is so hard for me…
why this is so very hard for me

I wish I could open up my soul like there’s a door
that I could let you in and show you where
I think about you each and every day
and always smile and wish you well
I keep your picture on my windowsill
and close my eyes and kiss you still…

I wish I could open up my memory like a slideshow
so you could see the deep impressions
where you left your footprints in my heart
and we could watch our lovers’ tales unfold
I would pull out all the movies playing in my mind
and put our sweet encounters on continuous rewind

South Park

Zach describing a South Park episode, which he thought was particularly hilarious, in detail:
Z:...and then Mr Garrison says it's because you can't jack off (whispers) you know mum, that means play with your willy...
J: Yes Zach I know what it means I just didn't realise that you knew what it meant
Z: Really? Oh I've played with my willy before...
J: Yes darling obviously you've played with your willy before. I just meant that I didn't know that you knew what the term 'jack off' meant as it's rather a rude way of putting it..
Z: Oh is it? Oh I suppose I should have said 'play with your penis'.
J: Haha err...ok. You know I'm not sure your dad should let you watch South Park anyway...

Wedding belles

J: That boy's an angel Keith he's just so sweet and so very gorgeous
K: I know I've decided I'm going to marry him!
J: Haha you do realise he's not gay?
K: I don't care! There might not be any sex but our wedding album would be beautiful...

Mr Fluffy Bunny

J: Zach went off on his 1st school trip today, they've gone to Devon on an outdoor adventure week
A: oh it's one of those ones where you're not allowed to contact them by phone?
J: yes, it's very hard but I think Zach will be ok as he's used to being away with his dad, some of the kids have never been away from their parents before. It was so funny, Soloman who is quite a tough kid turned up with his suitcase and a huge fluffy bunny soft toy. I thought it was odd as not even any of the girls brought their teddies but then I realised that he brought it BECAUSE he's tough! He wouldn't have dared bring it if he'd been a wimp. He just stood there with a 'this is my fluffy bunny - any of you got a problem with that' look on his face
A: haha and I bet he added 'and by the way - that's MISTER Fluffy Bunny to you'

dater monitoring

S: So who were you talking to online?
J: Oh I was just chatting to Gabe. We have this schadenfreude thing going where we each compete to have the least worst dating experience.
S: Really?
J: Yes, though of course because he's a man and I'm a woman we have vastly different criteria as to what constitutes a reasonable date. For him, if he gets to have sex at the end it's a good date whether he likes the woman or not whereas for me it's a good date if I don't go home and cry...

one picture speaks a thousand words...

Mandy Rules

bedtime

J: Zach, why does it take me so long to get you to go to bed these days?
Z: Well you should try saying 'please'
J: Hey...I DO say please!
Z: Oh... well then you should try dragging me against my will then...
J: Gosh, I don't remember reading that in any of my books on parenting 'if your child won't go to bed, drag him against his will...'
Zach unable to speak or stand whilst giggling uncontrollably...

Crossfire

and our dreams will break the boundaries of our fears...