Sunday, 9 November 2008

losing it

'how's your romance going?'
'not good'
'why what's happening?'
'I'm just not sure when I stopped being someone he loved, respected and made an effort for and turned into a booty call'
'oh dear that's bad'
'what are you going to do about it'
' I'm going to pick up whatever shreds of dignity and self-esteem I have left and walk'
'good for you'
'do you believe me?'
'damn! Sounded good though didnt it?'
'this time - just do it. If he does care he'll want you back if he doesn't he's not worth the pain anyway. Trust me you're worth more than that.'
' I really thought that he was different'
'maybe he is, maybe it's you that's still the same'
'you expect too little of people and you make do with even less!'
'well no-one else will tell you - certainly not him - he's happy with his booty call!'
'ok you're right. I'm so in love with him though and I think I'm just scared of losing what little love and affection I get from him so I put up with it'
'you've already lost more ways than one!'
'how did you get so smart?'
'watching you mess up!'
'Oh well I'm glad my misery has served some purpose....!'


Mark J said...

It's always easier to see from the outside Jacie. Don't be so hard on yourself - it's different when emotions cloud the issues. Take care :)

Jacie said...

thanks Mark I appreciate the support. I'm just so hopeless at not giving someone my heart and soul regardless of whether they reciprocate - you'd think I'd have learned better by now!

Mark J said...

But if you gave up, then would life really be worth it? :)
Better to sick to hope, but accept the mis-steps along the way, never falling for the same trick more than twice.