Happy Christmas

If you forget my face...

I'm worried you'll forget my face
you left me here with too much space
don't know how on earth to fill it
...especially now my heart's not in it

I'm worried I'll forget your eyes
the way they looked before the lies
they sparkled with the joy of life
...before the trouble and the strife

I'm worried I'll forget your smile
haven't seen it now for quite awhile
we had so much fun and laughter
...thought we'd found our 'ever after'

I'm worried you'll forget my face
and if you do there'll be no trace
of who we were and what we had
... before the world, our love, forbad

Einstein

J: Have you noticed how Einstein (the cat) is in a really bad mood these days?
Zach: Yes I know he keeps beating Cutie (the other cat) up!
J: ... and he keeps killing things. Yesterday he brought a baby bunny in and started eating it! It was horrible..,
Zach: I think he needs more love - we should probably make more of a fuss of him
J: Yes I was thinking the same thing... we haven't been giving him much attention lately have we?

a couple of days and a few cuddles later

J: Einstein seems happier
Zach: Yes he does - he kept sleeping on my feet last night and being a right pain!
J: Haha - have you noticed how when one of the pets gets grumpy we just think they 're in need of more love and affection but we never think that when a person is grumpy with us - we just think they're a total jerk!!
Zach: That's because they're being a total jerk!!

these days

It's a good day when I don't get called a ' fucking whore'
A good day when I'm not too scared to walk out the door
I know I should really set the bar a little higher
And it shouldn't take a major brain re-wire

but...

It's a good day when he doesn't scream and shout
A good day when he doesn't throw his weight about
So I close my eyes and breathe a grateful sigh
and tell myself another idiotic lie

claws

once they have their claws in you
it's hard to get away
you might get ripped to shreds
so it's easier to stay

once they have a hold on you
the more you try to leave
they grip you ever tighter
till it's hard to even breathe

once they have their hooks in you
every day's a fight to live
survival's your new mantra
forbear, forget, forgive

I can only

I can only feel your love now 
like a half-remembered tune 
you're a shadow in the darkness 
when clouds obscure the moon 

I can only hear your voice now 
like an echo from the past 
muffled sounds of love and laughter 
each more distant than the last 

I can only see your face now 
when I look deep inside my heart 
but I don't do that very often 
in case it tears it all apart

hay!

tourist

You were just a tourist in my holiday home heart
So why do I still miss you after all this time apart?
Your religion seemed to mean much more to you than me
The price I had to pay for what I thought you got for free!
I was just a pitstop in the perfect life you'd planned
So all the dreams I hoped for turned to ashes in my hand
If I'm with someone else these days I only want you more
And wish it were your clothes still messing up my floor...

Montmerency - the cat I had when I was young ...

he was a great cat!

Linseed sea