Leo Lightning Strike

 

 

The saddest thing that I can think of right now is to not remember you, all the tears, the pain, the laughter and the joy, the thousands of times I kissed your head and told you that I loved you.You would look at me with those big brown eyes and I just knew I'd miss you all my life because time runs short with four legged friends

 

27 Jan 2012 - 07 Sept 2018

 

Emotional Dementia

Bitterness is anger that's forgotten to forgive
Now love simply can't remember where it used to live
Anger is just pain that never took the time to heal
That's what tends to happen when it hurts too much to feel

Half a lie

I want to believe you
You know that I do
But half a truth's
Still half a lie
Life's too short
For half a measure
Love in haste
Repent at leisure

Leo

I still have all the love that couldn't save you
Wrapped up in all the years life never gave you
So much of pain starts out as pleasure
Time hurts and heals in equal measure
I miss your face, I miss your grace
But hope you know I've kept your place
Some hearts are born and some we make
Those hearts that love won't let us break
The heart you grew still lives in me
And I'm grateful for your company

10 tons

You've been killing me
but not with kindness
had 10 tons of love
but only hate could bind us
10 tons of love
still only tears could find us


10 tons of love
9 tons too much ...

is it a bird?

Conversation in the car on the way to school...
Zach: Sorry I was late this morning but I saw a beautiful bird in the garden and I stopped to take a photo. You're always telling me to notice beautiful things...
Me: Oh of course! What sort of bird was it?
Zach: It was one of those birds that look like a penguin...I don't know what they're called
Me: Pretty sure we don't have any birds that look like penguins visit our garden! What colour was it?
Zach: It was black and white
Me: Do you mean a magpie?!

Zach: Yeah that's it!

Zach is currently studying Maths, Further Maths and Chemistry for A-Levels - but not ornithology it would seem!

Remember now?

Sometimes out of the corner of my eye
I catch a glimpse of dreams I used to cherish
covered in dust
bright light dimmed
unloved, forgotten and discarded
what would it take to resurrect them?
do I have the strength or inclination?
I should have done better
shouldn't have been so scared
shouldn't have taken the path of least resistance
I shouldn't have left my dreams behind


who wrote that?
oh yeah I remember now
...it was me!

change in the whether

Used to be that I would wake up in the morning and wonder whether I was going to get shouted at today whether I had committed some great unforgivable sin whilst I was sleeping that would mean that I deserved to be shouted at and humiliated whether I would say something innocuous that would start WW3 or maybe I would make a joke that would offend some small part of his ego that would ruin the whole day and maybe the following day and many days to come or maybe he would have had a dream about me and in that dream I'd not been very nice...or he'd see a news item that would hit a nerve and he would remember something I'd done years ago that he didn't approve of and that would be all the excuse he'd need to lash out at me.
Well I don't wonder 'whether' any more I just wonder when

Sometimes

Sometimes missing you hits me like a huge unexpected wave that knocks me off my feet
other times it just catches my breath
and for a moment or two I forget how to breathe
until I remember how...
I remember how missing you 
is as easy as breathing
and sometimes...
it's as hard

Lost and Found

When I was Diamond, you were Gold
The greatest story never told
We thought time's bell would never ring
But I was Summer, you were Spring
The Day was mine, you held the Night
Then all we ever did was fight
Love's young dream that ran aground
When both get Lost, no-one gets Found