ROD STEWART - MAGGIE MAY

'hey Stefan why do you always call me Maggie May?'
'I don't know - that song just always pops into my head when I hear your voice on the phone. Maybe I've got an 'older woman' fantasy going on!'
'haha well it's true that the morning sun when it's in my face really does show my age!'
'yeah but in my eyes you're everything!'

chasing shadows......

'the ex was showing me a picture of the latest woman he's chasing after today. It's amazing really, I had no idea how many women there are out there who look just like me!'
'oh he's not found himself another Julie lookalike has he?'
'It would seem so. It's funny really you'd have thought that if he was that struck on me he never would have left me in the first place'
'well men never seem to know what they want until they can't have it any more'
'sad... but true'

Lauryn Hill Lose Myself

I used to love without fear a long time ago
And all I ever wanted was love
Then somebody came around and tried to hurt me
Tried to make me feel like I was unworthy
Took a pure love and tried to make it dirty
Truth was they never did deserve me

I had to lose myself so I could love you better

catastrophe snail

Billy: hey what did I do?

Grim: I told you Billy that when you spilt salt you should have thrown some over your left shoulder or you'd have bad luck. You have to take steps to avoid bad luck

Billy: hey science is great

Mandy: do you really think there is anything to this bad luck thing Grim?

Grim: of course Mandy - thousands of years of superstition can't be wrong....

Edwin Collins - A Girl Like You

check out brilliant spidey dancing!

sex and chips

'I was having fish and chips last night and it occurred to me that sex and fish are very different'
'you can be very weird sometimes'
'I know. But think about it - if you like fish you can have it loads of times but then one time you'll have a bad bit of fish and then that's all you remember when you think of fish. However with sex it's the opposite - when you think about sex you aways only ever remember the best time you ever had it - even if it was 20 years ago!'
'actually that's true isn't it!'
'really wish I hadn't had those fish and chips. I can still taste them this morning!'

Love Is The Answer ~ Todd Rundgren ~ Utopia

Chris Rock - Lying

'hi Julie this is Mark's girlfriend Luba I'd appreciate it if you could tell me what's been going on between you two'
'oh goodness! Well nothing's going on actually but we had arranged to meet up in a week or two. I had no idea he was in a relationship of course I won't meet him now. I'm so sorry'
'he's a liar. I'm leaving him'
'I'm so sorry...'

oh Mandy...

'I worry that the only person I look up to these days is Mandy from the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy'
'why does that worry you?'
'because she's a 10 year old child'
'so why do you want to be like her?'
'because she's mean and nasty and has a smart-ass answer to everything'
'is that what you want to be?'
'pretty much'
'oh ok. So what shall we have for dinner?'
'I'm thinking world domination...with a side of rice..'

conversations with traffic wardens

me: is it ok if I leave my car there for 5 minutes?
traffic warden: ugh
me: I'm sorry?
traffic warden: ugh
me: so is that ok or not?
traffic warden: ugh
me: could you just use more words, I don't mind if it's yes or no, just more words would help ...or some words at least....
traffic warden: ugh
me: ok I guess I'll move it then..
traffic warden: ugh